The Roommate Juxtaposition
by SecretMel
Summary: At 23 years old, Sheldon decides to look for a roommate and extends his search online. What happens when a naïve 18 year old Penny answers the ad?
1. Chapter 1

The Roommate Juxtaposition

At 23 years old, Sheldon decides to look for a roommate and extends his search online. What happens when a naïve 18 year old Penny answers the ad?

* * *

><p>Sheldon Lee Cooper is the kind of man you read about in scientific magazines, with an intricate story of extraordinary intelligence coupled vast experience in his field. At 23 years old, he had it all: Multiple degrees from various universities, experience working with some of the brightest minds in theoretical physics, and a job researching String Theory at CalTech.<p>

On the surface, he was arguably the most accomplished 23 year old physicist in the world. But there were a few things he didn't have, mainly due to disinterest. Sheldon had no friends, no love life, and minimal socialization skills. By choice.

Despite his better judgment, Sheldon posted an ad online for a roommate to help split the bills. Not because he couldn't afford the place on his own, but because he enjoyed the finer things in life with no will to compromise. He liked ordering dinner from a few select restaurants in Pasadena on a weekly basis. He liked collecting mint condition comic books and various other science fiction memorabilia.

Most importantly, he needed a roommate that worked within walking distance of CalTech so he could get a ride to work. Sheldon didn't drive, and had no plans to learn.

Sheldon received a plethora of emails regarding his roommate ad, and decided to email each of them a copy of a roommate application he devised himself. The application included various questions about hygiene, personal interests, schedule, and knowledge of science with an emphasis on physics.

Not surprisingly, most people didn't bother to send back the completed application. And those who did had a lack of what Sheldon was looking for in a roommate.

And so, his search continued.

* * *

><p>Penny drove her car up to the apartment building, while holding her cell phone in her right hand.<p>

"Yep, this is it." She said while looking at Google Maps on her phone. "2311 Los Robles."

Penny walked into the complex and looked around. "Seems clean enough. And at least they have an elevator."

She got into the elevator and went up to the fourth floor. As she stepped out, she was relieved to see that apartment 4A was located immediately to her left. "Oh, well that's super convenient."

Before she had a chance to knock, Sheldon opened the door. Penny stood there for a second, looking at the lanky stranger. He was about to lock his door when he noticed the young female staring at him.

"May I help you?" He asked, with no real intention to help.

"Yeah, hi. I'm Penny. Are you Sheldon Cooper?"

He continued to lock his door. "Perhaps."

She smiled. "I saw your ad online and the place looks really nice. So I was wondering if it's still available and if I could take a look."

Sheldon looked at her with his typical look of haughty derision. "The ad states that you need respond via email. At which time I would send you a roommate application. If, and only if, I deem you worthy of being my roommate will I invite you to the apartment for the second part of your screening."

Penny looked a little defeated and a bit intimidated. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I know it's a little weird to show up without calling, but I just wanted to make sure this place wasn't uber creepy. Is there any way you could just give me an application now? Since I'm already here."

"I'm sorry, but by proving yourself incapable of following a simple direction, I can no longer consider you a viable roommate. Goodbye."

As he walked over to the elevator, Penny made sure to block his path. "Oh come on, I really can't afford much right now and this is like the nicest place I can find for my budget. I wasn't trying to be rude."

He shook his head. "I suppose you think visiting one's apartment unannounced is a sign of benevolence. However, I disagree and I must be going. So can you remove yourself from my path to the elevator?"

"You really won't give me a chance? I promise, I'm super easy to live with, well unless you ask my family…" She explained with a chuckle. "Kinda the reason I want to leave home. That and to become a famous actress."

"Interesting. So you've never had a roommate before and you have no viable references." He let out a breathy chuckle. "Now, please move out of my way."

As the elevator door opened, Sheldon stepped inside. Penny followed him in. "No need to be mean about it."

Sheldon began to get exasperated. "I am not mean. I'm particular. I do not wish to reside with an unsuitable roommate."

She nodded. "I get that, although my finances are a little tight right now. So I can't exactly afford to go around interviewing people forever. Plus, the last place I went was really sketchy. I mean, the girl had seven nose piercings. Seven!"

"Might I also inform you that I do not care for idle chatter… so feel free to remain quiet for the remainder of the elevator ride."

Penny started to feel uncomfortable. Sheldon didn't seem like some crazy ax murderer, but he really didn't seem like he'd be a fun roommate.

_But it'd be so cool to live in a big apartment outside the city… And I'll never be able to afford it on my own._

The two quietly left the building. As Penny walked to her car, she noticed that Sheldon approached the bus stop.

She tilted her head and looked at him. "You're taking the bus?"

"Yes."

"Don't have a car?"

He slowly turned to face her. "I do not drive. I have better things to think about."

"Like what?"

"The great wonders of our natural universe."

Penny started to doubt his sanity. "Does that make you a philosopher?"

Sheldon looked annoyed. "Good heavens, no. I'm a theoretical physicist. And I am never going to prove String Theory if I spend my days preoccupying my mind with tedious activity. Or mindless conversation."

Penny sighed. "Alright, I'm just gonna go run my errands. Thanks… for nothing."

This caught his attention. "What errands?"

"Well, I need to pick up some groceries to put in the mini fridge at my hotel. Then I need to…"

He cut her off. "You're living in a hotel?"

"Sort of. Right now I live with my parents in Nebraska, but I drove out here to look for an apartment. Of course I don't have a job yet, so I need to drop off some resumes too. You know, something to pay the bills while I wait for my big break."

"You could distribute resumes via email, although history has shown it is not your preferred means of communication." He replied with a snarky tone.

Penny gave up. "Thanks. I'm gonna go. See ya." Penny said as she opened her car door and got into the driver's seat.

Sheldon looked at his phone. According to the schedule update, the next bus would not arrive for 22 minutes.

_Oh what fresh hell is this? 22 minutes…_

He quickly shuffled over to the passenger side window and began to knock on it.

::Knock Knock Knock:: Penny

::Knock Knock Knock:: Penny

::Knock Knock Knock:: Penny

She reluctantly lowered the window a bit. "What?!"

"Which grocery store are you shopping at this afternoon?"

Penny raised her eyebrows. "Uh, I think there's one near the hotel."

"Whole Foods?" He asked.

"Yeah. Looks kind of fancy, but I don't need much."

"Oh good." Sheldon said as he opened the passenger door and sat down in her car.

"HEY!" Yelled Penny. "What are you doing?"

He smiled a bit for the first time that day. "I was going to take the bus, but if you're going to the same location, then I'll just ride with you." He reached up for his seatbelt and buckled it. "Can we also go to Pottery Barn?"

"Why should I take you anywhere? I hardly know you and you refuse to even let me see the apartment!"

He sighed. "Lucky for you, one of my prime criterion for a roommate is a functioning vehicle. So, if you prove to be an adequate driver, I'll reconsider letting you apply."

Penny smiled a bit. "Thanks, I think."

* * *

><p>On the way to the store, Penny continued to make small talk.<p>

"Okay, so I should probably tell you a little bit more about myself. I'm from Omaha, and I have an older brother and sister, although I haven't seen my brother since he got arrested for cooking meth. He's probably well on his way to Mexico by now…"

Sheldon turned to her. "Is this supposed to encourage me to choose you as a roommate?"

"Oh don't worry, I don't do drugs or anything. I don't really drink either, unless I'm at a party or something. You know how it is."

"How old are you again?"

She smiled. "Eighteen."

"Underage drinking, family drug problems, and spontaneous visits. I'm sorry, I don't think this is working out."

"Let me finish. I'm thinking about going back to school once I'm settled, although I'd have to find a good job to be able to afford it."

Sheldon perked up. "Ah, academia. What sort of degree will you be pursuing?"

"I was thinking about getting my Associate's over at the community college. I know they offer some theater courses…"

His disinterest returned. "Oh."

Penny continued talking. "I know it's a lot of hard work and all, but it would be really cool to be the first one in my family to go to college. You know, if I don't become famous before all that."

Sheldon just looked down at his lap. He was regretting stepping into the same vehicle with a woman who considered community college "hard work."

She smiled at him. "So, your turn. Tell me about you."

"You'll have to be more specific."

"Like, how old are you? Where are you from? What do you do?"

He answered pragmatically. "I'm 23 years old. I was born in Texas. And as I told you before, I am a theoretical physicist."

Penny nodded. "Oh, right… so what exactly is that? Like a scientist?"

Sheldon looked agitated. "Ho boy… Where to even begin answering that question."

"Okay, then just tell me what you actually do."

"I am currently working in the field of particle physics, researching String Theory."

Penny looked impressed. "Wow. So you went to school around here?"

"I currently hold multiple degrees. As you probably didn't notice, I signed my online posting as Dr. Sheldon Cooper B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D."

"Holy crap, you have a PhD already?"

"Two. I received my first PhD at age 16 and my second here at CalTech four years later."

Penny was in awe. "So you're like one of those beautiful mind, genius guys…"

Sheldon always liked when people complimented his intelligence, but he wasn't sure she fully appreciated it. "Yeah…"

Penny smiled. _He seems really smart and responsible. Maybe this could work after all._


	2. Chapter 2

Penny was pushing the shopping cart through the produce aisle when she noticed Sheldon judging the items in her cart.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"You intend to purchase Granny Smith apples."

"Yeah, so?"

He looked at her. "They're baking apples."

Penny raised her eyebrows. "What?"

Sheldon folded his arms. "Their tart flavor makes them most suitable for baking, rather than raw consumption. Since you do not have a kitchen facility, I can only assume that you intend on eating them raw."

She ignored him and continued shopping. "I've had them before. It's fine. Apples are all pretty much the same anyway."

"Well, I certainly can't argue with that logic." He said sarcastically. "How do you intend on cleaning your produce?"

"I have a sink in the bathroom. All I have to do is run them under the water for a sec."

At this point, Sheldon didn't understand why he was still engaging in conversation with Penny. The more they spoke, the more she emerged as the embodiment of everything he did NOT want in a roommate.

He continued to mock her for everything she purchased, hoping her poor eating habits were a result of her current living situation and inexperience with independence.

"After much observation, I believe that you may not be ready to leave home after all."

Penny made a face. "What? Why?"

"You don't know the first thing about food safety or maintaining a healthy diet. I haven't seen you check the fiber content of a single item you placed in your cart."

"I'm healthy…" She said. "And I rarely get sick… plus there's only so much I can do. And it's only for a few more days before I go home to get my stuff and hopefully move out here."

Sheldon stopped walking beside her to ask his next question. "What happens if you don't find an apartment?"

Penny shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I'll go home and keep looking online and whatnot. Although it's kind of expensive to keep making trips, so I might have to just take a leap of faith if something pops up."

He sighed. Sheldon wasn't a particularly compassionate person, but the tale of Penny's woes began to wear on him. She was clearly naïve, and Sheldon was raised to be a gentleman. He was still an ass, but he would never allow a young lady to be put in harm's way.

"Penny, I live a very rigid and structured lifestyle. I have a list of approved restaurants I exclusively order from. I eat certain foods on certain days, and I have a schedule to which I live my life. Additionally, I require a ride to work every morning, as well as a ride home in the afternoon. My apartment must be kept at a reasonable temperature at all times, and my television schedule is determined by me, and me alone. Although you have none of the personality traits I require from a roommate, and I suspect you have no working knowledge of science fiction and/or physics, I'm willing to strike a deal with you."

She pursed her lips. "Okay, shoot."

"I will allow you to take up residence in the guest bedroom of my apartment under the condition that you adhere to my rules and sign a well-constructed roommate agreement that I will draft upon returning home. And you also have to pass a background check."

Penny smiled. "Omigod, really?!"

"Furthermore, this residency will be on a temporary basis only, terminated by myself at will upon finding a more suitable roommate. But, to be fair, I will give you two weeks notice before evicting you."

"Oh thank you!" She shrieked as she reached across and hugged his waist. Penny noticed he was uncomfortable and backed up a bit. "Sorry, I was just really excited."

Sheldon nodded. "I will excuse your ignorance for now. But for future reference, I do not care for physical contact."

Penny stood up straight. "Understood, roomie. Now hurry up and grab your stuff. I want to check out my new place!"

Sheldon watched the excited blonde female grab her pink phone out of her handbag and start texting furiously.

He shook his head._ I'm going to regret this…_

* * *

><p>As they carried their stuff into the apartment, Sheldon continued running the rules past Penny.<p>

"On Saturday mornings, I wake up at 6:30 am to watch Doctor Who and eat cereal."

Penny chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't get in the middle of that. There's no way in hell I'll be up at that hour on a Saturday. And I'll try not to make too much noise if I come home late Friday night."

He glanced at her. "I highly recommend you obtain an income before spending money on late night shenanigans."

"Of course. I'll get right on that."

As Sheldon unlocked the front door, he introduced her to the apartment. "I present to you, my humble abode. And before we continue, may I also add that no one is allowed into my bedroom."

Penny smirked. "Then where do you sleep?"

He gave her an odd look, causing Penny to continue rambling. "You know, if no one is allowed in there, and you're someone… never mind. But yeah, nice place. It's really big. And don't worry, I've got plenty of stuff to help this place feel less empty."

Sheldon still looked confused. "It is not empty. I just don't care for extraneous furniture."

Penny observed the two patio chairs in the middle of the living room, facing the television. "But you don't have anywhere for guests to sit."

"That's by design. Although you will be allotted 50% of the space in common areas. As for the bathroom, I expect it to be kept in pristine condition. No loose blonde hairs in the shower drain, no makeup tidbits around the sink, and no potentially scalding hair styling products left plugged in. I lived with my sister long enough to know the dangers of curling irons."

"Older sister or younger sister?"

"Depends who you ask, but technically I am five minutes her elder."

Penny gushed. "You have a twin! That's so cool!"

Sheldon turned toward the kitchen. "Moving on. This is the kitchen. As you will notice, everything has a label on it for your convenience. Please place everything back where you found it. Also, I will be designating shelves in the refrigerator for your use. Please monitor your items. I do not care for mold and other bacteria."

They continued the tour of the apartment, meticulously avoiding Sheldon's bedroom. Although Penny planned to sneak away later to check it out.

"Will you be requiring housing before you return to Nebraska?" He asked.

"Well, I already paid for tonight, but it would definitely save some money if I could crash here tomorrow night. Then it'll probably take me a week or so to get my things."

He nodded. "Very well. I will draft the roommate agreement this evening. And before you go, I will print you a copy of the roommate application. Please fill this out quickly so I can have an idea of your schedule and pertinent information for your background check."

Penny nodded. "Sure, no problem." As she watched the printer spew out several pages, she began to worry. "Geez, how long is this thing?"

"Oh the application is only eleven pages. The roommate agreement, however, will be a doozy." Sheldon stapled the pages together and handed her the printed document.

"Thanks…" Penny responded reluctantly. "I'll just go back and look this over while I eat."

Sheldon nodded. "Thank you. If you have any questions, my contact email address is on the last page."

"Oh, good point. What's your cell phone number? I'll add it to my phone."

"Are you still opposed to email?"

She smiled. "No, but if we're going to be roomies, I'll need your number."

"I see. Alright. Although this complicates things if you fail your background check and I am forced to acquire a new phone number." After the exchange, Sheldon sent Penny on her way.

Upon sitting down at the computer, he noticed he had another email regarding his ad online for a roommate. After reading through it, Sheldon wasn't immediately repulsed by the application.

"Interesting. I'll have to file this Mr. Hofstadter away under 'prospective roommate.'"

* * *

><p>That evening, Penny sat down on her hotel bed and watched some reality television while thumbing through the roommate application.<p>

"Ew, he really wants to know when I use the bathroom?"

She reluctantly filled out the section regarding personal information, hobbies, and interests before stumbling upon the physics questions.

"Noble Gases? Richard Feynman? Inertia? What the heck… how am I supposed to answer this stuff?"

Penny reached for her phone and texted Sheldon. "Hey, so I dont kno some of the answers to your science questions. Is that ok? ~Penny"

She received a response from Sheldon within a minute. "For the last time, I prefer email as a communication medium. Please answer all application questions to the best of your ability. Regards, Sheldon Lee Cooper"

Penny continued to look at the Physics questions. "Isaac Newton… Oh I wonder if that's the guy who made the cookie… maybe that's where the phrase 'smart cookie' comes from!"

Twenty minutes later, she was bored. "Okay, I really don't feel like doing this anymore." She looked at the very next question. "My feelings toward Mr. Spock? I'm guessing he wants me to say that I like him." Penny finally felt confident in her answer. "Oh! And I should say that he's one of my favorite physicists…"


	3. Chapter 3

The next evening, Penny arrived at Sheldon's apartment with her suitcase in hand.

Sheldon opened the front door with a smile. "Good evening, Penny. I assume you've completed the roommate application."

She smiled back. "Yep, it's in my purse." Penny placed her suitcase in the center of the living room before reaching into her tote bag. "Here you go."

Sheldon nodded as he took the application from her hand. "Very well. There is a sleeping bag set up in the guest room. You may store your belongings in there for the night. But before we continue, I will need to review your application and verify that you are who you say you are. Do you have a valid photo ID?"

Penny reached into her handbag again. "Yep, I have a driver's license." She held it up beside her face. "See, I'm Penny."

"Alright. I will need to make a copy of this if you don't mind." He took the license from her hand. "While I look over your paperwork, make yourself at home. We will be ordering dinner from Siam Palace tonight. I recommend the mee krob and chicken satay with extra peanut sauce, but I have a copy of the menu in the kitchen for you to peruse in the meantime."

"Ooh, Thai food. Sounds good. Although I don't eat chicken. I'm a vegetarian. Except for the occasional steak… I LOVE steak."

Sheldon decided to ignore her hypocrisy. "Right. Menu is in the drawer labeled 'takeout menus.'"

As Penny carried her stuff into her new bedroom, Sheldon sat in his patio chair in the center of the living room. Within 30 seconds of reading her application, he was displeased. "Penny!"

She ran into the living room. "What? What's wrong?"

He stood up and faced her. "In what universe is Spock a physicist?!"

She hesitated. "In this one?"

"Please tell me you were being facetious and you're familiar with the Star Trek franchise."

"Oh, Star Trek!" She lit up. "Yeah, of course. The futuristic space movie with the girl in the metal bikini."

Sheldon's lips tightened. "No… that would be Princess Leia from Star Wars."

Penny cringed. "I was close…"

"Okay, this is not working. I terminate your roommate status immediately." He said as he handed her back the application.

"Oh come on. So I don't know physics or science fiction stuff, but I'm sure there are a lot of things I know that you don't know."

Sheldon chuckled. "Oh I hardly think so. I have an IQ of 187 and more degrees than I wish to rattle off at the moment… I know virtually everything about the universe."

Penny folded her arms. "Okay, do you know who just won this season of America's Next Top Model?"

His shoulders sank. "I should have clarified. I do not waste my time filling my head with nonsense."

"It's not nonsense. It's pop culture. And you knowing a bunch of stuff about Star Trek… Wars… Thing… isn't any different."

Sheldon was starting to get irritated. "You cannot honestly believe that your knowledge of reality television supersedes my knowledge of actual entertainment in the form of science fiction."

Penny put her hands up. "You know what, this is stupid. Let's not fight. I'm sure we will get to learn a lot about each other and our interests over time. And if we still can't agree on stuff, I'll just get a TV for my bedroom and we'll just be roommates."

His mouth was still tight. "Fine. And please note, Fig Newtons were named after a town in Massachusetts. Not Sir Isaac Newton, the scientist."

She smirked. "Noted."

* * *

><p>During dinner, Sheldon began explaining the roommate agreement. "I'll need you to sign a series of documents for the roommate agreement, up to and including a temporary residency form for tonight."<p>

"Sure, no problem."

"I read your application, and you failed to indicate your bathroom schedule. I use the facilities at 8am each morning. What time would you prefer?"

Penny looked up from her pad thai. "I don't know. Does it really matter?"

"Yes." He replied sternly.

"Well, if it helps, I'm rarely up at 8 o'clock, so I won't be in your way. It's not like anyone really knows when they're going to use the bathroom for the rest of their lives."

He picked up some more papers from the small round table beside his chair. "I'm aware. I have an appendix strictly dedicated to emergency situations. That being said, I'll pencil you in for 8:30, since you may want to use the facilities before driving me to work."

"Oh right… that. You only work weekdays, right?"

"Correct."

"So like, what if I'm sick or not around or something. Will you be able to get to work?"

He reached for more papers. "The bus is always a secondary option, but I will need to have a week's notice to verify that my bus pants are washed and pressed."

_Bus pants. Right. I can't believe this guy is going to guilt me into getting up early…_

After an hour of documentation, Penny was completely baffled at the amount of paperwork she still had to sign.

Sheldon handed her a new sheet of paper. "Section 74C states that you must assist me if I ever become a robot."

Penny threw her head down into her hands. "Oh my God, Sheldon. None of these things are ever going to happen. Why do I need to keep doing this?"

"You don't know that!" He raised an eyebrow. "Unless one of us is already a robot…"

She pursed her lips together and glared at him. "Kinda wish I was one right now." She said as she signed her initials at the end of another page.

A few minutes later, Penny reached for Appendix C on the small coffee table in front of her. "Any reason you're leaving this one out?"

He nodded. "Yes, this was originally written with the idea that I would be rooming with an intellectual equal. Thus I need to revise this section."

Penny flipped it open and read a random clause. "In the event one friend is ever invited to visit the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, he shall invite the other friend to accompany him." She looked up at him. "Looks like you were also assuming your roommate would be a 'he.' But Switzerland sounds kind of fun. We should keep this in there."

Sheldon shook his head. "Negative. That clause would only benefit you, as I am the only roommate capable of getting an invitation to see the Large Hadron Collider."

Penny folded her arms. "I am pretty popular. It'd be a shame if I got a super nerdy boyfriend, who's also totally cute by the way, to invite me for a romantic weekend in Switzerland to see… that thingy you just mentioned, and I had no obligation to bring you with me…"

Sheldon pondered her statement. She did have a point. He'd hate to miss an opportunity because of a misworded agreement. But then again, he didn't want to risk hindering his trip with her presence if he did receive a special invitation.

"Interesting. I will re-consider Appendix C upon your 30-day evaluation."

Penny smiled sarcastically. "Oh yay… an evaluation…"

* * *

><p>That night, Penny retired to her room, exhausted from listening to Sheldon explain every detail about their living situation. But, she couldn't deny that it was nice to have a new place to call home. A nice, big apartment in Pasadena. With one heck of a crazy roommate.<p>

_I mean, all roommates are sort of crazy, right?_

Penny changed into her pajamas and plugged in her cell phone to charge. Before getting into the sleeping bag, she decided to see if Sheldon was asleep.

She carefully tiptoed out of her room and over to Sheldon's door, before carefully turning the doorknob. Penny poked her head into his bedroom and saw Sheldon sleeping soundly in the center of a twin sized bed. His room was extremely clean and organized, with a plethora of science fiction toys and posters. She then smiled a bit at the absurdness of his rigid sleeping position.

_He looks like a mummy sleeping in a bed. Without all the toilet paper on his face…_

She then noticed his nose twitch a bit, causing her to quickly close the bedroom door and retreat to her room.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Penny woke up at 8:25 am to the sound of Sheldon knocking on her door.<p>

::Knock knock knock:: Penny

::Knock knock knock:: Penny

::Knock knock knock:: Penny

She begrudgingly climbed out of the sleeping bag and opened the door, recalling the time he knocked on her car door the same way.

"Are you always going to knock that much?" She asked, in her groggy state.

"Yes, well, as you know, today is Tuesday. And that means I go to work. I did not hear an alarm go off in your bedroom, so I decided to inform you that we leave in 25 minutes. If you will be requiring a wake-up call each morning, I will add an addendum to the roommate agreement."

Penny's eyes were still half open. "I thought that didn't start until I moved in."

"It was clearly stated in the temporary residency form." He looked down at her. "Did you not read the documentation carefully?"

"So, if you're going to work, does that mean I need to get my stuff together and leave?"

He smiled a bit. "I'm glad you asked. If you agree to stay in Pasadena past 5 o'clock this afternoon, I will lend you the spare apartment key, under the condition that you go to the hardware store and make your own key before you leave for Nebraska. And of course, pick me up from work."

Penny sighed. "Okay, fine. Give me a few minutes to get dressed, and I'll drive you to work. But then I'm coming back here to go back to sleep."

"Very well. Thank you."

Penny went to walk by him. "Where are you going?" He asked.

She folded her arms. "You woke me up, and now I'm going to the bathroom."

"It's 8:27 am. You signed a document stating that your morning bathroom routine will begin at 8:30. Unless you wish to invoke the Emergency Restroom clause."

Penny extended her forearm and pushed him out of the way. Before he could say another word to her, she slammed the bathroom door in his face.

Sheldon looked a bit startled. "I'll take that as a yes. But you don't have to be so rude about it..."


	4. Chapter 4

Penny was still half asleep, not to mention irritated with Sheldon's antics, when she sat down in the driver's seat of her car.

Sheldon, on the other hand, was bright eyed and ready to go. With his windbreaker on and his messenger bag draped over his shoulder, he looked more refreshed than any human being should for a Tuesday morning.

Or at least that was Penny's opinion.

As Penny drove, Sheldon refused to ride quietly. "Here's a fun activity. How about we play a car game? I'll pick an element from the periodic table, and you'll name one that starts with the last letter of the aforementioned element."

Penny grumbled, without saying anything coherent.

"Okay, I'll start." He continued. "Here's an easy one. Hydrogen."

Penny didn't say a word, nor turn her head. She just bit her lip and continued to drive.

_Oh he is so lucky I need this apartment. I don't know how I'm going to put up with this much early morning excitement every day…_

Sheldon kept talking. "Okay, I'll go for you. You could say Nitrogen. Then I would say Neon. You could say Nobelium. Then I would say Molybdenum. Then you say Mercury… Oh that's a good one. Then of course I'd say Yttrium…"

Penny cut him off. "Are those even words?"

He stopped rambling and looked at her with disbelief. "Those are chemical elements from the periodic table. The foundation of our universe! You must have taken a basic chemistry course or two during high school."

Penny's eyes were half closed. "I don't know. I don't remember. I know I took the one with the frogs."

Sheldon sighed and looked out the window. "Yet another child left behind…"

When they arrived at the university, Penny's eyes widened a bit. For a minute, she was intrigued by the college campus environment around her. Those feelings quickly diminished when she realized Sheldon was still talking.

"And of course, you will label your new apartment key to avoid confusion."

She looked at him as he opened his car door. "What? Oh yeah, key. I'll do that. Thanks."

"Thank you. Good day, Penny."

"You too." She sped off immediately after Sheldon closed the car door.

When Penny arrived back at the apartment, she threw her keys into the bowl Sheldon designated 'keys' and went straight back to bed.

* * *

><p>Penny spent her afternoon checking out the apartment, sending out resumes to various restaurants and retail stores, and getting her apartment key made. Despite Sheldon's strict instructions, she made herself two keys. In case she lost one in the future.<p>

Before leaving to pick up Sheldon from work, she made sure her bags were packed so she could be on her way that night.

When Penny got to the university, she hesitated before texting Sheldon that she arrived.

_This seems like a cool place, maybe I could walk in and check it out._

Penny parked her car and walked inside the research laboratory. She noticed it was mainly a serious of long, off-white hallways.

After looking at a directory near the main entrance, she decided to try to find Sheldon's office on her own. While walking down the hallway to her left, she nearly bumped into three guys walking in the other direction. "Oh sorry, do you know where room A19 is? Erm, office really…"

A short, scrawny young man with tight pants and a Beatles inspired haircut stepped forward. "Hello fair maiden. Are you lost? Would you care for a personal tour of this fine establishment?"

The wavy haired man with thick glasses to his right just shook his head. "Howard, we've been here an hour. I somehow doubt you know enough to show her around."

Penny politely smiled. "It's okay. I'm just looking for a friend. Thanks anyway." She said as she continued down the hall. The three guys stared awkwardly and watched her walk away.

Howard folded his arms. "Leonard, you totally wrecked my game."

The Indian guy beside him smirked. "Dude, you don't have any game."

Leonard sighed. "Raj is right. Let's just go and find the rest of our orientation group."

Howard didn't listen. "I'm sorry, but a really hot, blonde co-ed just talked to us and you two really want to go find the tour group?"

Leonard smiled a bit. "She was really cute."

Raj rolled his eyes. "What do you want to do? Stalk the pretty girl and see where she was going?"

Howard's eyes lit up. "Now we're talking. Maybe she was on her way to meet some more super-hot chicks at a sorority party."

Leonard pursed his lips a bit. "You're delusional."

Howard took off down the hallway. And despite Leonard and Raj's intuition, they followed him.

* * *

><p>When Penny got to Sheldon's office, she politely knocked on the open door.<p>

"Hey, ready to go?"

Sheldon looked up with a slight smile. After checking his watch, he nodded. "Right on time. I must say, Penny, this is the first time I've been impressed with you. Kudos."

"Thanks… I think."

Sheldon put on his coat and messenger bag. "Do you think we could stop at Radio Shack?"

Penny cringed. "I really do have to head home, Sheldon. My mom's expecting me back by Thursday morning."

"Very well." As they walked out of his office, Sheldon continued to speak. "What if I promise to be really quick?"

Penny rolled her eyes. "Fine. But you better hurry your ass up. I want you in and out."

He smiled. "Thank you. I take it you left the apartment in the condition you found it last evening?"

"Yep. It's all good. Hope you don't mind, I used your shampoo this morning."

"Excuse me, but that was NOT part of the agreement!"

"Oh relax, I'll buy you a new one when I move in for good."

As they walked away, Howard, Leonard and Raj peered around the corner.

Leonard raised an eyebrow. "Who is that guy?"

Raj squinted a bit. "I think that's Dr. Cooper. I heard he's got two PhDs already. And he's our age."

Leonard smiled. "Hey, if he has two, he can give Howard one."

Howard rolled his eyes. "I'm an engineer, I don't need a PhD. And if you're so much smarter than me, explain how a guy like him got a girl like that."

Leonard looked away. "If I knew how to get girls in general, I wouldn't be helping you stalk them."

Raj tilted his head. "Do you think they're dating? Maybe she's his sister."

"I hardly think so." Howard explained. "They look nothing alike. And why would she first be moving in with him if they were family?"

Leonard folded his arms. "Okay now that we know she's sort of with that guy, can we please stop being creepy?!"

Howard stood up straighter. "Fine. But it probably wouldn't hurt us to get to know this Dr. Cooper, especially if he's a big shot around here."

Raj crinkled his eyebrows. "I didn't say that. I just said he's got 2 PhDs. I also heard he's a complete pain in the ass to work with."

Leonard looked at Howard. "So now you want to randomly make friends with someone just because he may or may not have a hot girlfriend?"

Howard smirked. "Hot girls hang out with other hot girls. Didn't you learn that at Princeton?"

Leonard just glared at Howard. "Can we go back to the tour group now?"

"Fine. Quitters."

* * *

><p>When Penny and Sheldon finally returned to the apartment, they worked out the last remaining details of their roommate agreement.<p>

Sheldon handed her a sheet of paper. "Sign this form to confirm you will begin your residency one week from Friday."

"Okie dokie!" Penny was quick to sign the last form. "So, am I good to go?"

"I believe so. Welcome aboard, Penny."

"Thank you." She said with a smile. "So I guess I'll just see you next week."

He nodded. "Indeed. Have a pleasant drive back to Nebraska."

"Thanks. See ya soon, roomie!"

Penny grabbed her purse and suitcase and headed out the door.

As Sheldon closed the door behind her, his cell phone rang. It was his sister.

"Hey Shelly, how goes the roommate search?" Missy asked.

Sheldon responded quickly. "Quite well. My new roommate will be moving in next Friday."

"Wow, you actually found somebody willing to live with you?"

He brushed off her teasing. "Yes. Although I'm not entirely convinced it'll work out long-term."

"Why not?"

"Oh where do I even begin… First of all, she has no knowledge of…"

Missy cut him off. "Hold on a second. SHE?"

She caught Sheldon off guard. "Yes. She. Her name is Penny."

"And where'd you meet this girl?"

"Well, she showed up at my door."

She chucked. "And you agreed to let her live with you? She must be one heck of a pretty young thing."

Sheldon didn't like her tone. "Her aesthetics did not contribute to my decision whatsoever. But, if you must know, she is eighteen years of age."

Missy started cracking up. "Oh my, momma is gonna to kill you when she finds out."

Sheldon got confused. "Why?"

"Well let me put it to ya this way. If I tried to shack up with an older guy when I was eighteen, what do you think momma woulda said about it?"

He started to get annoyed. "I'm not 'shacking up' with anyone. We will be sharing an apartment. Not a bedroom. I can't say your intentions would have been the same."

"Don't start with me or I'm gonna rat you out."

"Go right ahead. As you may recall, I am dedicated to my research and have no interest in pursuing carnal relations with my roommate or anyone else for that matter."

Missy cringed. "Ugh, so you keep telling me."

"Now, is there anything else you wish to know about Penny or are we done here?"

"Oh we're far from done. But you better believe I wanna be there when you tell momma."


	5. Chapter 5

A week and a half later, Penny made her way back to Pasadena. As she took the elevator up to the fourth floor, she was giddy with excitement.

_I can't believe I really live in California now! This is it!_

She used her key for the first time to enter her new home. As expected, the apartment was in pristine condition. Penny knew she had several hours before Sheldon would be home, so she started to unpack.

Sitting on the kitchen island was a note from Sheldon.

_Penny,_

_Welcome. I've taken the liberty of labeling two shelves in the refrigerator for your use. You may decorate your bedroom as you wish, provided it does not affect me in any matter. Once you've unpacked your belongings, we will discuss space allocation for the rest of the apartment. _

_Additionally, I left a few DVDs by the television if you wish to take a break. _

_I will see you this evening._

_Dr. Sheldon Cooper_

Penny walked over to the television to see Star Trek, Star Wars, and Battlestar Galactica DVDs stacked in a neat little pile.

_Oh he's really not going to quit with the sci-fi stuff…_

She looked at her cell phone and saw it was only 12:05. "I bet if I run over to the furniture store before 1 o'clock, I can get that same-day delivery so I can have a bed tonight."

Without a second thought, she left the apartment in search of furniture.

* * *

><p>Penny decided to start with the first furniture store she saw off the highway.<p>

She immediately walked over to the mattresses to pick out a bed. However, something caught her eye in the corner of the clearance room. A little two-person sofa in bright teal.

Penny ran over to the small couch and noticed that it was only $150.

_OMG this is adorable. And he can't argue that it's way better than a patio chair._

After speaking with a salesperson, Penny purchased her full sized bed, a comforter set, and the little teal couch with same day delivery.

_Today just keeps getting better._

* * *

><p>At 5 o'clock that evening, her stuff arrived. The delivery men propped open the front door and set up her bed against the wall adjacent to Sheldon's room. After much contemplation, Penny folded up Sheldon's patio chair and had them set up her couch in its place.<p>

_He'll thank me. This looks way better._

Sheldon walked in the front door of the apartment complex and noticed the delivery men walking past him. He didn't think anything of it until he stepped out of the elevator onto the fourth floor.

The door was still propped open, and Penny had suitcases open and spread out in the living room.

Before he could criticize her mess, he noticed the teal sofa.

"Would you care to explain why the front door is open and why there is a green couch where my chair used to be?!"

Penny smiled. "Nice to see you again too… I just had it delivered. It was like super cheap. Really adds some color in here. I know it's small, but I figured we could get a sofa chair or another love seat to go with it."

He started to blink oddly. "What was wrong with my previous arrangement?!"

"Well, it was patio furniture. In a living room. I figured it was temporary. Plus you told me I could have 50% of the space."

"That space did not include my spot."

Penny walked over to her couch and sat down. "Try it, it's comfy."

He begrudgingly sat on the couch beside her, where his spot used to be. After adjusting for a minute, he stood up and angled the sofa a bit more. Before long, he was content. "Oh yes, this is definitely my spot."

Penny smiled. "See, told ya."

"It still doesn't give you the right to replace my furniture without my permission. Actions like this in the future will earn you a strike."

She made a face. "A strike? What does that mean?"

He stood up. "It's a baseball analogy. Three strikes and you're out."

"Out? What, if I piss you off three times you're going to kick me out?"

"Three strikes within one year and you're banished from the apartment. However, if you reach two strikes, I do offer a class to get them removed early."

Penny raised her eyebrows. "Seriously?"

"I offer the class online, for your convenience. But let's hope it never comes to that. Now, I'm willing to forgive the mess under the condition that it's moving day for you, and you probably need some time to figure out an organizational schema. That being said, I will not tolerate this sort of pandemonium on a day to day basis. Understood?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

"Excellent. Tonight is Chinese food and vintage video game night. The menu is in the appropriate drawer in the kitchen, as you already know. Steer clear of the tangerine chicken. Its authenticity is questionable."

She smirked. "I don't eat chicken, remember?"

"I have an eidetic memory. I remember everything. But I also recall that your declaration as a vegetarian was a mere hypocrisy, so I thought I'd advise you thusly."

Penny didn't understand what he was talking about, so she ignored him and fetched the menu. "So what kind of video games do you like to play?"

Sheldon perked up. "Oh, all kinds. But on Friday nights, I specifically honor vintage video games from the 20th century."

"Cool. I always liked playing video games with my brother. I was a beast at those fighting games. So if you ever want someone to kick your ass, let me know."

He scoffed. "I hardly think so, but I admire your confidence."

She folded her arms. "Try me…"

"Fine. After dinner, I will introduce you to a virtual world of hurt."

"Oh it's on. Like Donkey Kong."

* * *

><p>A few hours later, after many one-sided battles, Sheldon felt defeated.<p>

"Clearly, you must be cheating." He said as he stood up and walked into the kitchen.

Penny was still seated on the couch. "Oh come on, I told you I used to play with my brother. Don't be such a sore loser."

He looked at her with his eyebrows arched. "I don't know how, but you are cheating." He turned back to the refrigerator to get himself a bottle of water. "No one can be that attractive and be this skilled at a video game."

Penny smiled at his quasi-compliment. She decided to take his first moderately personal comment and run with it. "So, I've got a question. Do you have a girlfriend?"

Sheldon stood at the kitchen island. "No."

"Rough patch?"

He looked at her sternly. "I have no interest in romantic relationships."

Penny seemed surprised. "Oh. Guess you're just focusing on work and stuff right now. That's cool. I was dating someone at home, but it wasn't really working out. Plus, if I'm going to live out here, I really don't think I want to be stuck with a Nebraskan. L.A. has way more to offer, guy-wise. Especially with all the clubs downtown."

Sheldon looked disinterested. "Understand that the visitor's section of the roommate agreement does not allow you to bring home arbitrary men, regardless of inebriation. "

She got insulted. "Hey, what kind of girl do you think I am?"

"Based on your background check, it seems that you have had romantic relationships with at least 11 men in the past 4 years. I hardly believe that said patterns will dissipate overnight."

Penny just glared at him. "I don't even want to know how you found that out." She thought about his comment. "It was so not 11 guys, FYI."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows again. "Twelve?"

She folded her arms. "Ten." She hesitated. "I wasn't actually going out with Joe. We were just fooling around behind his girlfriend's back…"

"I see…"

"So, do you have any big plans this weekend?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Well, tomorrow is Saturday, which means I'll be watching Doctor Who while eating my cereal. And of course, tomorrow night is laundry night…"

She interrupted him. "So you've told me. You could always invite some friends over or something. This is a nice apartment; I'm sure we could have some killer parties in here."

"Akin to my feelings toward romantic endeavors, I also do not care for interpersonal relationships on a friendship level. I prefer to communicate via means of technology."

Penny thought about his comment. "Does that mean you don't have any real friends?"

"I have 212 friends on MySpace."

Her face softened. "That doesn't count. Like, who do you socialize with on weekends?"

When he didn't respond, Penny walked over to him. "You know what, don't worry about it. I don't have any friends yet in California either. I'll be your first friend." She flashed him a smile.

Sheldon begrudgingly smiled back. "Oh goodie…"

* * *

><p>Saturday afternoon, Sheldon was sitting in his new spot on the teal couch when Penny came bursting through the front door.<p>

"You are NOT going to believe this!" She exclaimed.

Sheldon turned toward the front door. "You're actually Penny from the future and I've perfected time travel?!"

She smirked. "Yeah, no. But seriously, guess who JUST got a job?"

He hesitated. "I give up, who?"

Penny was too excited to be annoyed with him. "ME! I got a job!"

He stood up. "Already? I must say, that was a quick turnaround. May I ask who employed you under such short notice?"

She beamed. "Yes. I'm going to be a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory! I start next week!"

"Ah, food service. A necessary, albeit tedious career choice. But nevertheless, well done."

"Thank you, Sheldon." She continued to smile really wide. "So I technically start Thursday, but I'll be going through training for a little while. Once I'm settled, you'll have to come down to the restaurant and check it out."

He pondered her suggestion. "I've never been to the Cheesecake Factory. I'll analyze the menu and get back to you."

"Anyway, we should celebrate. Do you want to go see a movie or something later? Or get some food?"

"Saturday night is…"

Penny cut him off. "Oh come on. Go do your laundry now and it'll be done before dinner. Right now, I'm just super stoked, and I don't know anyone else yet. So come on! Celebrate with me. Please?"

Sheldon sighed. "Fine. But understand I am merely entertaining the social convention of celebrating an accomplishment, however menial…"

"Thank you!"

His own excitement built. "Can we go see the new Lord of the Rings movie?"

"Um… I guess. If you want."

Sheldon smiled like a little boy. "Can I get Red Vines too?"

Penny smirked. "Sure thing, sweetie."


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for your kind words, everyone! I want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, and I'll post more after the holiday weekend. Enjoy =)

* * *

><p>Penny and Sheldon stopped at a nearby pizza place for dinner before the movie. It amused Penny that even though she thought of Sheldon as an adult, he regressed to a childlike version of himself when talking about things he was passionate about.<p>

Just as they planned, they went to see the new Lord of the Rings movie. Sheldon walked around the theater for 10 minutes, looking for its acoustic sweet-spot. Penny went along with it for the sake of keeping him quiet.

Toward the end of the movie, Penny noticed that Sheldon was metaphorically glued to the screen.

"Enjoying the movie?" She asked him. He was wide eyed and attentive, with no idea Penny was even speaking to him.

"I guess so…" She said to herself.

When the lights finally came back on, she turned to Sheldon. "That was… fun… ready to go?"

He was still clutching his box of red vines. "We can't leave just yet. The credits are still rolling."

Penny slouched down in her seat. "And you care about who made the movie?"

Sheldon kept his gaze locked on the big screen. "What if there's extra footage after the credits? I'll never forgive myself if I miss it."

"Of course…" Penny said sarcastically. When the movie was "officially" over, Penny stood up and grabbed her purse. "Now can we go?"

Sheldon stood up. "I suppose. Can we go to the comic book store next?"

"Uh, sure, I guess. What for?"

"To buy comic books." He said matter-of-factly.

Penny nodded. "Of course… what was I thinking?"

She didn't notice, but there were other people still in the theater waiting for the credits to end. In the back row sat three familiar CalTech employees.

Howard looked at Leonard. "I can't believe everyone just got up and left. Did they forget the epic post-credit footage from Harry Potter?"

Leonard was smiling really wide. "I agree. People don't appreciate the credits enough."

Raj poked Howard's shoulder and audibly whispered. "Dude, Dr. Cooper is here with the hot girl!"

They awkwardly stared as Penny and Sheldon left their seats.

Howard looked smug. "See, I told you that's his girlfriend."

Leonard leaned back and folded his arms. "How about that. Well, to be fair we don't know him. He could be a really nice guy."

Howard stood up. "Come on, let's go see if they're meeting some of her hot friends after the movie."

Raj raised an eyebrow. "You're just not going to let this go."

Leonard stood up with him. "Movie's over anyway. Come on."

* * *

><p>Outside the theater, Howard spotted Penny leaning on the wall by the entrance, playing with her cell phone.<p>

"Dude, there she is!" He said.

Leonard hit him. "Stop that. She's going to think you're a creepy stalker."

Raj smirked. "But he is a creepy stalker."

"And besides…" Leonard continued. "What are you going to do? Walk up to her and be like 'I kind of know your boyfriend. Do you have any hot single friends?'"

Before Howard could answer, Leonard answered for him. "You're not going to do that."

Howard started to walk toward her, causing Leonard to roll his eyes and follow him. "Howard…"

He walked right up to Penny and smiled. "Hey, you're the girl we saw at CalTech the other day, right?"

Penny smiled, trying not to be creeped out. "Uh, maybe."

Leonard smiled awkwardly and waved at Penny. "Hi, I'm Leonard."

She nodded. "Penny."

Howard continued. "And I am Howard Joel Wolowitz, at your service m'lady."

Raj just looked down at the ground, unable to say a word. Penny looked at him, then turned to Leonard. "Is he okay?"

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's Raj. He can't talk to women…"

"Oh, that's really… sad… yeah…" Penny spotted Sheldon emerging from the bathroom. "Oh, there's my roommate. Guess I have to go now. Bye guys…"

Howard took this opportunity to say hi to Sheldon, as he approached the group. "Hey, it's Dr. Cooper!"

Penny raised an eyebrow. "You know him?"

Howard folded his arms. "He's only one of the most well respected physicists at our university." Leonard rolled his eyes again at Howard's obvious lie.

When Sheldon reached Penny's side, he looked at the three guys with confusion. "Hello… can I help you?"

Howard smiled. "Hello, Dr. Cooper. My name is Howard Wolowitz, and these are my friends, Leonard Hofstadter and Rajesh Koothrappali. We just starting working at CalTech, and we wanted to introduce ourselves to you and your ravishing lady friend."

Penny politely smiled and Sheldon nodded. "Ah, fellow post-docs. Welcome."

Leonard smirked. "Well actually, Raj and I are the only post-docs. I have a doctorate in Experimental Physics and Raj has one in Astrophysics. Howard just has a Master's in Engineering."

Sheldon didn't know how to respond. "Engineering… well I'm sure you'll enjoy inventing little doo-dads with the other oompa-loompas of science. Meanwhile, Penny and I are on our way to the comic book store, so goodbye."

Howard jumped in. "Really? Us too!"

Leonard raised an eyebrow. "We are?"

"Yes. We are. So I guess we'll see you two there."

Sheldon stood with a stoic expression on his face. "Alright…"

As he turned to walk away, Penny just waved goodbye to the three guys. She whispered to Sheldon. "So, you work with those guys?"

He shrugged. "Evidently."

Leonard looked at Howard. "He just called you an oompa-loompa. You still want to be friends with this guy?"

Raj smiled awkwardly. "Penny smells like lavender and vanilla…"

Howard turned to his buddies. "Did you two not pay attention? Penny called him her 'roommate,' not 'boyfriend.' So gentlemen, onward to the comic book store."

* * *

><p>When Penny and Sheldon arrived at the comic book store, Penny barely got a foot in the door when all the attention was suddenly directed toward her.<p>

She froze and whispered to Sheldon. "Why is everyone looking at us?"

Sheldon ignored her comment and bee lined for the bin with new comics books.

To alleviate the tension, the store's owner greeter her at the door.

"Hello, welcome. I'm Stuart. Don't mind everyone else. We rarely get girls in here. At least, not girls that actually look like girls."

Penny chuckled. "It's okay. I'm Penny. So is this your store?"

"Yep, I opened it a few years ago. So, are you actually here with Sheldon willingly or is he holding you captive? Because I have a little button under the register that will call the police."

She smiled. "Nah, we're actually roommates. I just moved here from Nebraska."

"Oh wow, Nebraska. Go Cornhuskers!" He said confidently.

"Oh, are you into college football?"

He smiled back. "No, it was just a lucky guess. I just wanted to look cool."

Meanwhile, Sheldon looked like a kid in a candy store, going through comic books and various collectibles, when his colleagues entered the room.

Stuart raised his hand to wave at the guys.

Raj smiled. "Hi Stuart. Got anything…" He suddenly put his hand over his mouth upon noticing Penny standing to his right.

Penny smirked and looked back at Stuart. "So you know these guys too?"

"Yeah, they're on their way to becoming regulars. Sadly, just about everyone in this comic book store is a regular. Nothing like getting your weekly dose of 'Captain Sweatpants.'" He explained as he pointed to an overweight man in the back of the room wearing large gray sweatpants.

She chuckled as she noticed the three guys approach the comic book bin in the center of the room. Sheldon just looked up at them and nodded. "Hello again."

Leonard looked at the book in Sheldon's hand. "Nice, I just got that one for my collection a few weeks ago."

Before Sheldon could respond, Raj interrupted. "Guys, that reminds me, we need to decide on our costumes for Comic Con."

Sheldon's eyes lit up. "You guys collect comic books? And go to Comic Con?!"

"Of course." Howard replied. "We were thinking about going as the Justice League of America, but we need a few more guys."

Raj leaned forward. "And a woman. I'm NOT dressing up like Wonder Woman again."

"I want to go to Comic Con!" Sheldon said with an elated expression.

Leonard looked over at Penny, who was still making small talk with Stuart. "You could always bring your… friend."

Sheldon looked over at Penny. "I suppose, although Penny indicated on her roommate application that she is not a fan of cosplay, but she will don the occasional Halloween costume. And I can't seem to generate her interest in science fiction or comic books. Although I must say, she is remarkably talented in video game combat."

Howard raised an eyebrow. "So you two have a platonic living situation? No hanky-panky?"

Raj folded his arms. "Howard, that's not very polite. Sheldon, Howard wants to know if you and your roommate are an item."

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure what you're implying. Penny is my new roommate. She officially moved in yesterday, originally hailing from Nebraska. And she has since informed me that we are friends."

Leonard smiled a bit. "Is she seeing anyone?"

He looked confused again. "Well right now, I suppose she sees Stuart."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "I meant, you know, is she dating anybody?"

"Oh! Well, as of last night, no. But I don't keep up with social matters. You'll have to ask her yourself for verification."

Penny walked over to Sheldon's side. "Hey, looks like you found something." She said, referencing the comic book in his hand.

Howard decided to try his luck again. "So, Penny. Sheldon told us that you're new in town. You know, I happen to be an excellent tour guide…"

She cut him off. "If you're really about to hit on me, let me stop you by saying 'not in a million years.'"

Leonard laughed quietly and turned to Sheldon. "Alright, well it was nice meeting you…" He hesitated on account of not knowing his first name.

"Sheldon."

Leonard nodded. "Nice meeting you Sheldon. And Penny."

"Now hang on! I have considered your Comic Con inquiry and I am quite interested, provided I can choose my own costume."

Raj whispered into Howard's ear, causing Howard to speak for him. "You want to come with us to Comic Con?"

"Yes. But I get to be The Flash."

All three men sulked. "I wanted to be The Flash." Howard explained.

Leonard squinted at him. "I thought I was going to be The Flash this time."

Raj continued to whisper to Howard. "Can I be Batman?"

Howard batted down Raj's hand from his ear. "No, if Sheldon gets to be The Flash, I want to be Batman. You can be Aquaman."

Raj cringed and spoke quietly. "Dude, Aquaman sucks."

Sheldon folded his arms. "Well, it seems that you gentlemen are in need of some organization. Lucky for you, it's one of my many specialties. Now, if you wish to discuss this further, I take my lunch break at 12:05. We will meet in the cafeteria at work."

Penny broke up the conversation. "Wait, what the heck are we even talking about?"

Sheldon sighed. "These three gentlemen have invited me to attend Comic Con in San Diego. And since they decided on a Justice League of America costume theme, I naturally will be The Flash."

Penny folded her arms and tapped her food. "Okay, I got maybe half of that. What's Comic Con?"

Everyone in the store stopped what they were doing and stared at her again.

Sheldon started to look annoyed. "What is Comic Con?! I'm sorry Penny, but comments like that are strike worthy…"

Leonard decided to explain. "San Diego's Comic Con is the largest comic book convention in the continental United States. It's really a lot more fun than it sounds."

Sheldon looked at the three guys. "I'm sorry. I'm doing the best I can with this one, but she didn't give me much to work with."

Penny's shoulders dropped. "Thanks…"

Leonard was still looking at Penny. "You know, we could use a Wonder Woman that was actually, well, a woman, if you want to come with us."

"I don't know…" Penny trailed off.

Sheldon put his hand up. "Is there another member of your social group currently not present?"

Howard looked up at Sheldon. "No… not really."

"Then we'd only be a partial Justice League." He explained.

Leonard shook his head. "It's still two months away. We have time to find a sixth if you two are in."

They all looked at Penny who just shrugged. "Oh sure, what the hell."

_Sheldon really does need some friends. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to play along._

As Sheldon approached the register to pay for his comic book, Stuart decided to continue his conversation with Penny.

"So, Penny, are you into art at all?"

"Um, sort of, I guess. I'm an actress, and that's kinda artsy."

He smiled. "Well, I went to art school…"

Penny interrupted him when she noticed the sketch on the counter. "Oh wow, is that me?"

Stuart tore off the page from his notebook. It was a pencil sketch of Penny. "Yeah, I drew it while you were talking to the guys over there. You can have it."

She lit up. "Thank you so much! That is amazing."

"So, I was wondering, if maybe you'd like to go downtown and get some coffee sometime."

Sheldon lifted his head. "I'm sorry, I don't drink coffee."

Penny chuckled. "I think he was talking to me, Sheldon." She looked at Stuart. "Sure, sounds like fun."

Howard just started at Stuart. "What the frack… did Stuart just score a date with Penny?"

Leonard looked disappointed and confused. "I think so…"

Raj looked pensive. "Did anyone see how he did it?"


	7. Chapter 7

Monday afternoon, Sheldon sat down at his usual cafeteria table at exactly 12:05pm. Within minutes, his three new friends joined him.

Leonard sat down with his tray first. "Hey Sheldon. So what did you think of the movie Saturday night?"

Sheldon put his hand up. "There will be time for small talk after our initial discussion. Gentlemen, it seems that there is a lack of organization regarding costume selection in your social group. Now, if I am to join said social group, we will need to establish an order. So, I have drawn up a list of solutions to our impending Comic Con dilemma."

As he reached into his messenger back to pull out a notebook, Howard and Raj just glared at Sheldon. They hadn't known him for long, but they were starting to realize he wasn't going to be the easiest new friend in the world.

Sheldon continued. "Now, I will be The Flash, of course. In the first scenario, if Leonard chooses to be Superman…"

Raj cut him off. "Leonard? Superman? I can see the Clark Kent resemblance, but I can't imagine the transformation."

Leonard folded his arms. "Thanks Raj. Actually, I was thinking that maybe I could be Green Lantern."

Sheldon shook his head. "Green Lantern doesn't wear glasses."

"So… none of the Justice League members are Indian, but we're not giving Raj a hard time…"

Howard sighed. "Well I already purchased my Batman costume, so I call dibs."

Raj threw his hands up. "So who does that leave for me?"

Sheldon looked at his list. "Well, if your compatriots are stern in their ways, you can be Aquaman or Wonder Woman. Although with Penny's broad shoulders, I believe she'd be best be suited for the Amazonian gal."

Raj sulked. "Aquaman sucks."

"Although if we're going to have a nearsighted Green Lantern and a pre-pubescent Batman, then by all means, be Superman and continue to crush our authenticity."

"I'm not even blonde. What if we find a blonde dude to be Aquaman? Then can I be Superman?"

Leonard shook his head. "This is stupid. If Raj wants to be Superman, let him be Superman. There's no need to be condescending."

Sheldon glared at Leonard. "And that's the kind of sloppy costuming that will get us laughed out of Comic Con."

"We could always pick a different theme." Leonard suggested.

Sheldon raised his hand. "If we go with Star Trek, I'm Spock." Suddenly, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. "Excuse me gentlemen, I must take this call."

When Sheldon left the table the three guys began to talk about him.

Howard leaned forward. "Look, I know I said I wanted to make friends with Sheldon, but are we really going to let him boss us around?"

Leonard looked over his shoulder. "Maybe he's just not used to having friends."

Raj smiled. "If we get rid of Sheldon, can I be the Flash?"

"No." Leonard and Howard said in unison.

"Then I say, Dr. Cooper stays. Plus, we lose our Flash AND our Wonder Woman if we say something."

Howard tilted his head a bit. "He does have a point."

Sheldon came back to the table. "Well, it appears that I am in need of a ride home this afternoon. I don't suppose any of you are willing to provide transportation."

Leonard squinted a bit. "Where do you live?"

"2311 Los Robles. Apartment 4A." Sheldon responded.

Leonard's eyes widened. "Hey wait a sec, you're the crazy guy who posted that long roommate application online a few weeks ago, aren't you?"

He nodded. "I did, in fact, post an ad for a roommate. And I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested."

"Oh wow, I applied for that! Did you get my application?"

Howard smirked. "I'm going to guess that when Penny showed up at his door, he wasn't thinking, 'gee, I rather live with Leonard Hofstadter.'"

Sheldon ignored Howard. "I did receive it. Although at that time, I had already forged a temporary agreement with Penny."

Raj looked at Leonard. "Are you talking about the application with the essay question on Kirk versus Picard?"

Leonard smiled. "Yea. That was a no brainer. Original Series over Next Generation but Picard over Kirk"

Howard looked at Sheldon. "I suppose if I looked like Penny, I wouldn't have to write an essay to get an apartment either."

"O' Contraire." Sheldon replied. "Penny had to complete the application. However, with her current living situation, or lack thereof, I decided to take her in as a roommate on a provisional basis."

Leonard raised an eyebrow. "So, you're still technically looking for a roommate?"

Howard smacked him in the arm. The last thing he wanted was to make friends with Sheldon without Penny in the picture. "Sheldon, I don't suppose Penny will be at home this afternoon, say around 5:30."

Sheldon shook his head. "No. She has plans to have a latte with Stuart at that time. Hence, I need someone to drive me home."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Howard, you drive a Vespa. It's not like you could give him a ride anyway. I'll take you home, Sheldon. Don't worry."

"Thank you." He replied. "Now, let's talk about another pressing topic. How do you feel about trains?"

* * *

><p>That afternoon, Leonard kept his promise and drove Sheldon home.<p>

"So, I don't suppose I could see the apartment, in case things don't work out with Penny."

Sheldon contemplated his suggestion. "Well, I typically do not invite guests to the apartment, but it is conventional for me to show appreciation for the ride home. Alright."

As they entered the apartment, a flustered Penny was rushing around the living room. "Hey guys. I'm so sorry, I'm just running a little late. I'm leaving in a second."

Sheldon folded his arms. "You explicitly stated that your coffee rendezvous was at 5:00pm and thus, you could not provide me with a ride home. It's 5:20."

"I know, I know. I'll make it up to you later." She looked at Leonard. "Hey, nice to see you again. Thanks for giving Sheldon a ride."

Leonard just looked at Penny with a slight smile. "Hi, Penny. It's fine, really. Sheldon and I are buddies now. So you know, we might be seeing a lot of each other from now on."

Sheldon looked at Leonard with a confused expression. "We are?"

Penny just smiled. "Oh, awesome. I'm glad you two are getting along so well. I'll see you guys later."

She ran by Leonard and grabbed her purse as she ran out the door. He just stood there for a minute, taking in the scent of her perfume. "Sheldon, can I ask you something?"

"I suppose."

"What is it like waking up and seeing THAT every day?"

Sheldon put his stuff down. "Penny is hardly the first thing I see in the morning; she sleeps far later than myself."

Leonard was still in a daze. "Still. You must be somewhat attracted to her."

"I'm aware of her aesthetics. And I suppose it's not entirely displeasing to have an attractive roommate. But that being said, I wish she would remember to put the milk back in the fridge after enjoying her morning coffee."

Leonard nodded. _Our babies would be smart and beautiful… _"So, this is a really nice apartment. Can I look around?"

* * *

><p>When Penny returned from her date that evening, Leonard was long gone and Sheldon was sitting in his spot on the couch. As she walked in the door, Sheldon promptly paused the movie he was watching.<p>

"Hey Sheldon, I'm home."

"I can see that."

"So, I still have Stuart with me. You don't mind, right?"

Sheldon wasn't pleased. "Of course I mind. This is in direct violation of the roommate agreement."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, I just invited him for coffee. He's on his way up now."

"Wasn't that the whole point of your date? Why would he want to have MORE coffee at our apartment?"

Before he could finish his argument, Stuart walked in. "Hello, Sheldon." He looked around the room. "Nice place you guys got here."

Penny smiled and politely closed the door behind him. "Yep, Sheldon said it's totally cool for you to hang out. Have a seat."

Sheldon did a double take and glared at Penny. _This woman is impossible._

Stuart sat down next to Sheldon on the couch and looked at the image on the television screen. "Ah Batman Returns. Good movie."

"Yes well, after a heated debate in an online chat room, I decided to re-watch one of the old favorites."

"Really? What was the debate about?"

Penny walked over to Sheldon sweetly. "Sheldon, wouldn't you prefer to go sit in your room for a little while?"

He shook his head at Penny. "Not now, we have a guest." He turned back to Stuart. "I was asserting, that in the event Batman's death proves permanent, the original Robin, Dick Grayson, is the logical successor to the Bat Cowl."

Stuart smiled. "Ooooh, Sheldon I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong."

Sheldon's eyes widened. "More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation."

"Sure it is. It's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable. It's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge."

Penny felt uncomfortable. "Maybe I will need some more coffee after all…" She said as she walked away from the guys.

Stuart continued. "But returning to the original issue, Dick Grayson became Nightwing, a superhero in his own right. Batman 2 has to be the second Robin, Jason Todd."

Sheldon stood up. "Has to be? Has to be?! I hope you're being deliberately provocative."

Penny stood by the kitchen island watching the two grown men fight over comic book heroes. "Yeah, this is what I get for trying something different…"

* * *

><p>Penny ended up falling asleep on her bed, waiting for Stuart to stop arguing with Sheldon. The next morning, Penny woke up early and noticed Sheldon was first making his breakfast in the kitchen.<p>

She stumbled into the kitchen rubbing her eyes. "Morning… I'm guessing Stuart eventually left?"

"Yes. Although the endeavor kept me up past my bedtime."

"Ugh, I'm sorry about that…"

Sheldon nodded. "Apology accepted, under the pretense that it will never happen again. For a comic book store owner, he should be embarrassed with his own arguments. And grammar."

"You could have just left and gone to your room, like I told you."

"And you could have informed me of your plan to bring over an unannounced guest on a Monday night. Or as I prefer, don't bring home a guest at all."

Penny smirked. "Would us making out on the couch really have bothered you that much?"

He glanced at her. "I don't understand why you felt the need to bring Stuart to our apartment in the first place, never mind your plans to engage in carnal relations."

She smiled. "Aw, were you worried about me?"

"No. No more than usual."

Penny walked over to Sheldon and hugged him around his waist. "Well, thanks for looking out for me. It's nice to know you've got my back."

Sheldon wasn't thrilled with Penny's gesture. "I didn't say that. Now let go of me."

She playfully tapped him on the nose with her index finger. "Okay, Sheldon. I'm gonna go shower so I can drive you to work."

As she walked away, Sheldon rubbed the tip of his nose with a napkin.

_Impossible indeed._


	8. Chapter 8

Thursday, Sheldon managed to coerce Leonard into giving him another ride home from work, since Penny was starting her new job.

"So, Penny must be pretty excited." Leonard said, while continuing to drive.

Sheldon looked out his window. "I suppose. Apparently it's her first taste of the 'real world,' not to be confused with an unverified documentary she watches on MTV with the same name."

Leonard nodded. "Cool. Maybe this weekend, we can all go over there to see how she's doing."

"Penny has expressed a similar sentiment." Sheldon explained while turning to Leonard. "That being said, you recently informed me of your lactose intolerance. I can't imagine an establishment named after the industrializing of a dairy product peaks your interest."

"They have real food. It's not just cheesecake."

Sheldon tilted his head a bit. "Very well. What night are you proposing we partake in this endeavor?"

Leonard shrugged a bit. "Well, we're all going to Wolowitz's house tomorrow. How about Saturday night? Is she working then?"

"From 4pm until approximately 10pm."

"Great! I'll text Howard and Raj when we get to your apartment."

Sheldon looked down at his phone. With a heavy sigh, he texted Penny. "_It appears that I am the new nucleus of Leonard's social group. We will be dining at the Cheesecake Factory Saturday night in a futile attempt to observe your progress. I say 'futile' since we have no means of comparing your performance to a prior experience."_

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Penny was hard at work, observing the scene and following the waitress that was training her.<p>

When she took a moment to herself to check Sheldon's text message, her trainer, Casey, made a comment. "Boyfriend?"

"Nah, just my roommate. Apparently he and new friends are coming here Saturday night."

She smiled. "Oh that's cute, you've got male cheerleaders." Casey wasn't like Penny at all. She was around 23 years old, with a short brown pixie cut. She was very tall and rather skinny, making Penny feel even more intimidated with her shorter stature."

"Sort of. They're kinda nerdy. It's actually kind of cute when they're all together, talking about comic books and whatnot. Although one of them outright hits on me all the time. But, he's my size, so I can hogtie and castrate him if need be."

"Ouch." Casey replied. "Remind me not to piss you off."

Penny followed Casey around for a while, helping her carry trays to the tables, and taking orders for the first time.

At one point, she brought some plates over to the bar, catching the attention of someone in particular.

"Hey, I don't think I've seen you before. I'm sure I would have remembered a tight little body like that."

Penny smiled a bit. The stranger in front of her was quite muscular, with a chiseled jaw line and tan skin. "I'm new here. I just started today."

"I knew it." He replied. "Looks like I might need to come around here more often now."

"Hope you're a good tipper then." Penny said coyly. She was used to being hit on by men, especially of his type.

"The best. I'm Kurt. What's your name?"

She flashed him her best smile. "I'm Penny."

"Penny, wow, what a pretty name. New in town?"

"Pretty much. Just moved here from Nebraska."

Kurt smiled. "Nice. What time is your shift over?

She looked at her watch. "Um, I'm not sure. Maybe like 10-10:30ish?"

"Well, how about I take you out for a drink when you're done?"

"Yeah, I'm only 18. Might be a problem."

Kurt was clearly more infatuated with her once she revealed her age. "I know a guy over at TJ's down the road. Bartender's real cool. I got you."

Casey came up behind her. "Oh yeah, we're all headed out there after work tonight if you want to stop by."

Penny couldn't turn down the offer to get to know a good looking guy and make friends. "Okay, yeah sure. I can do that."

Kurt smiled. "Alright. It's a date."

* * *

><p>Penny stayed out till 1am with Kurt and her co-workers. She had a bit to drink, but not so much that she couldn't drive home.<p>

Upon reaching the apartment, she quietly unlocked the front door and snuck in. Unfortunately, Sheldon heard her every step.

"Penny?" He said as he walked into the living room, clad in his plaid robe.

Her shoulders slumped down. "Hey, sorry I woke you. I went out after work with some people."

Sheldon was rubbing his eyes. "Gallivanting with strangers after midnight? Hardly seems like a responsible way of commemorating your first day of work."

"No, it's fine. Everyone's really cool. Plus, I met this guy. And I'm not going to lie, he's like really hot."

"Seems redundant to preface your thoughts with a truth disclaimer, but nevertheless, I appreciate the honest intention." He looked at Penny's grin. "Have you been drinking?"

She smirked. "Just one drink. Okay one and a half. Kurt bought them for me."

Sheldon folded his arms and raised his eyebrows. "Underage drinking will not be tolerated in this apartment. Not to mention driving under the influence…"

"But anyway, Kurt seems really sweet. He's like really jacked, and he's a little taller than you. I think we're going to go out again Saturday night."

"Wonderful. Now that this charade is over, I am returning to bed. Goodnight."

Penny walked over to him. "Wait, one more thing. I was just wondering, would you care if I threw a party in the apartment?"

His eyes grew wide. "Yes, I would mind very much."

"I'm not planning anything yet, but you know, once I get to know more people. It might be cool to have a bunch of people over. You can always invite your new friends."

"I do not wish to have this conversation while I not well rested. My integrity might be somewhat compromised. Therefore, goodnight Penny."

She rolled her eyes. "Goodnight Sheldon."

* * *

><p>The next morning, Penny begrudgingly got out of bed to take Sheldon to work. Despite his protesting, she decided she was going to stay in her pajamas and wear flip flops.<p>

"I cannot urge you enough to change your footwear." Sheldon said.

Penny grabbed her purse. "It's fine, Sheldon. I drive in flip flops all the time."

He put his messenger bag on. "That doesn't mean it's safe. That just increases the probability that this particular drive will end in a fiery car crash."

She grabbed the door. "You know, I could just as easily go back to bed."

When they got into the car, Sheldon still looked uneasy. "This car makes a funny noise when you hit the brake."

"It's fine. It's been doing that since I got it."

He rolled his eyes. "That doesn't mean it's acceptable."

She drove over a speed bump in the parking lot, causing Sheldon to jump up in his seat. "Ho boy…"

"So, any big plans for tonight? I promise I won't come in so late again."

Sheldon nodded. "Tonight is vintage video game night."

She glared at him. "Again? You really have to do that every Friday?"

"Yes." He responded.

Penny was in no mood to argue. "Well I'm coming home right after work. Although Saturday, Kurt and I are going to try that fancy Italian place around the corner."

"I see. Need I remind you about the Stuart incident of last week? I will issue a strike if you choose to bring home another guest without sufficient notice."

She rolled her eyes. "We just met last night. I'm not going to bring him home with me. Trust me, it takes at least three dates to make sure a guy's not just trying to get in your pants."

"So you assume that by abstaining from coitus for three consecutive date nights, a suitor with strictly carnal intentions will lose interest? Interesting."

Penny turned to face him. "What, do you think he just wants to hook up? I mean, it's totally possible he's looking for a long-term relationship, right? Although to be perfectly honest, I'm not really sure if that's what I want at the moment. But I do want to make sure…"

Sheldon looked straight ahead with ghastly horror. "PENNY LOOK OUT!"

She looked out the front windshield just in time to see herself crash into the car in front of her.


	9. Chapter 9

Penny blacked out for a brief second, and woke up with her face in an airbag. Sheldon was clutching the sides of his seat, with a look of pure shock and horror on his face.

They didn't speak for a full minute. Penny took deep breaths, trying to process the gravity of the situation. And she assumed that Sheldon was too stunned to say a word. A rare state for the verbose scientist.

After another deep sigh, Penny turned toward Sheldon. "I think I'm okay. Are you okay?"

He remained silent.

The passengers in the car in front of her got out of their vehicle and appeared unharmed. Penny looked up at them through her cracked windshield.

"I think they're alright too." She started to tear up. "Sheldon, I am so sorry… I… I mean you could have… I could have… and my car… my job…"

Sheldon finally broke his silence. "OH GOD, I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!"

Penny continued freaking out. "I know, I am so sorry. At least we're okay."

"I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!"

"I know! I know… let's just get out and talk to the people in front of us and get this taken care of."

Sheldon was still clutching his seat. "I almost died! A tragic death caused by vapid conversation and inadequate footwear! Oh God…"

Penny got out of the car and looked at the damage. Sure enough, the hood of her car was smashed in, and the bumper of the car in front of her had clear damages.

After apologizing to the driver of the car she rear-ended and exchanging insurance information, Penny walked back to Sheldon. He was standing on the side of the road with his arms crossed. "Okay, I'm going to call the insurance company, can you get someone to pick you up and bring you to work?"

He looked flabbergasted. "Work?! Work?! How can I work? I need my full undivided attention to do my job. Which, may I add, has been rudely compromised by this near death experience. All of which could have been prevented if I had chosen a more suitable roommate!"

Penny held her tongue. She understood that Sheldon was stressed out and angry, but she was feeling far too emotional and flustered to start an argument in public. "Okay, make sure you tell your boss what happened…"

_I cannot afford to fix this car. Oh God, what if it can't be fixed? I can't afford a new car! My dad is so not going to co-sign for me. I can barely afford the rent as it is… And now Sheldon hates me too… What have I done?_

* * *

><p>Quietly, Penny and Sheldon walked back to the apartment. Penny was still beyond upset at watching her first car get towed away, while Sheldon rambled on in hysterics for what felt like eternity.<p>

Upon walking into the apartment, Penny was re-reminded of the incident by putting her useless car key in the bowl by the door.

Sheldon sat down in his spot and took out his laptop. Meanwhile, Penny stood by the door, lingering in her own fear as she gazed at Sheldon.

He raised an eyebrow at her odd stance. "Is there a particular reason you do not wish to further enter the room."

Penny sighed. Her eyes became welled with tears once again. "I… am… so…. sorry. I'm feel so stupid. Please, please don't throw me out. I've… I've got nowhere to go…"

Sheldon began to feel a little uncomfortable. As much as he was angry at Penny, he didn't know how to handle the emotional female before him. "Although I am confounded by your inability to circumvent minor traffic, I will not be evicting you from the apartment at this time."

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "Really? Thank you…" Penny walked over to the couch and sat beside him. "I mean, I know you don't drive, but I haven't been driving that long either, you know? Especially city traffic. It was really scary driving out here a few weeks ago…"

He empathized with her sentiments a bit. "You could have taken the train." Sheldon suggested, to the mild amusement of Penny.

She smiled through her tears. "I know. It's just, I don't know what to do now. I promised my family I could make it on my own. I just started my new job, I don't have a lot of money left. Hell, my credit card limit isn't even that high…"

Sheldon looked at her sternly. "It seems that most of your problems would be solved if you had more money."

Penny's smile collapsed. "Gee, you really are a genius." She said sarcastically.

Sheldon shook his head and walked over to the bookshelf by the front door. He reached for a can and pulled out a wad of cash. "Here."

Penny looked at his hand. It was the money she gave him as her first month's rent. "What are you doing?"

"You need money. I have money. Here." He extended his arm toward her.

"I… I can't take your money Sheldon."

"I'm willing to make a deal with you. Provided you continue working at your current place of employment, and can mathematically prove that your income exceeds your planned spending for the month. I will give you this money back, and you will put it toward your purchase of a new vehicle."

Penny just looked at his hand. "I can't. It's not right. I need to do my part around here. I just moved here and you don't know me…"

He tilted his head just a bit. "What don't I know about you?"

"Everything really. I mean, aside from the stuff on my application, and things I might have mentioned… we really just met a couple weeks ago."

Sheldon put his arm down. "I'm insulted that you think I would share an apartment with a stranger. I know far more than you believe."

She folded her arms and got snarky. "Okay, fine. Tell me my favorite color, my favorite song, my dreams, my fears, my biggest regrets… Go on. Tell me."

He folded his arms right back. "Your favorite color is a particular shade of pink, much like the color of the skirt on your Hello Kitty doll. Your favorite song changes on a weekly basis, although recently, it appears to be this mantra of walking an incredibly unrealistic number of steps for a meaningless encounter."

Penny interrupted him. "What?"

"I don't know from music, but a particular singer you enjoy seems to believe she would 'walk a thousand miles' to see someone for one evening. Now if that isn't completely ludicrous…"

She put her hand up. "Okay okay, I get it."

"Now let's see. You obviously dream of being an actress. But you also wish to seek out the attention of potential male suitors to make up for a lack of appreciation at home. A slippery slope indeed…"

Penny just looked at him with her mouth slightly gaped.

He continued. "Oh, you fear rejection and bumble bees… even though they are hardly the most dangerous of the insect world, and you quietly harbor a fear of being unlovable. Your biggest regret is the soup tattoo on your right buttock."

"What?!" She stammered. "I don't have a soup tattoo."

"Yes you do. The Chinese character for soup."

Penny folded her arms. "Ok, forgetting that you somehow got a look at my ass, it's not soup. It's the symbol for courage."

His face twitched a bit. "Well, I suppose it does take a lot of courage to show that much appreciation for soup…"

"Irregardless…" Sheldon twitched at Penny's grammatical error. "You can say what you want, but you don't know me as well as you think."

_Holy crap he knows me better than I do..._

He held out his arm again. "Even if everything I said wasn't true, which of course is ridiculous, you cannot dispute that you and I both know you need this money. So here."

Penny looked down at the money in Sheldon's hand. The wadded up hundred dollar bills were extremely tempting. "Are you sure?"

_I could probably get a used car for going to work with that…_

"Yes." He replied. Penny took the money out of his hand as she started to tear up again. "Thank you so much… you have no idea how amazing you really are."

He smirked. "I'm aware, although it baffles me that others don't see it."

Sheldon returned to his spot on the couch while Penny just looked at him and smiled.

_He really doesn't want anything from me in return. Ugh, what kind of men have I been picking up throughout high school that I'm really shocked he's not asking for something in return… _

Penny sat down next to him and gave him a sideways hug. "I mean it. You just saved me a TON of trouble."

He looked down at her head leaning on his shoulder. "Since when can an abstract noun be measured by a unit of weight? Really, you should strongly consider going back to school. But rather than acting, I'd recommend focusing on the English language…"

Penny let go of him and sat up. Instead of responding, she just shook her head and laughed to herself.

_You're one of a kind, Sheldon Cooper._

* * *

><p>The next day, Penny got dressed and left the house early. One night of taking the bus to work was all it took before she was dead set on picking out a new car. Or at least a car that wasn't totaled.<p>

Before long, Penny picked out a used, red Volkswagen. She handed over the rest of her money and made her way home in her new vehicle. It wasn't much, but it functioned. And it would get her to and from work.

As she made her way up to the apartment, she thought about her current situation.

_I wonder if Sheldon's going to let me drive him around anymore. Wait, did I just say let? I should be grateful if he lets me off the hook at 9 o'clock in the morning._

When Penny stepped out of the elevator, she was greeted by Sheldon standing with his new social group, all clad in extensive paintball gear.

She smiled at the enthusiastic foursome. "Hey, whatcha guys up to?"

Sheldon smiled fairly wide. "Leonard invited me for paintball."

Leonard smiled awkwardly at Penny. "Hey, how's it going?"

She nodded. "Pretty good, well except for the whole car wreck thing I'm sure Sheldon told you about." Sheldon raised his eyebrows in disapproval toward her dismissive description of the car accident. "So yeah, I just went out and bought a new car."

"Oh wow, nice."

Penny nodded slowly. "Yeah, and by new I mean used, but it still works. I just drove it home. As long as it gets me to work and all."

Leonard nodded with her. "Exactly. As long as the car serves its fundamental purpose of transportation while sheltering one from the elements and providing a safe environment…"

Penny cut him off with a smile. "And it's red."

Sheldon folded his arms. "A red car? Penny, as you may not know, red cars are statistically more likely to get stopped by police officers."

"Anyway, it's nice to see you guys. Oh, and before I forget, I talked to some of my friends last night, Sheldon. And two of my girls from Omaha will be coming to visit in two weeks. So I was hoping you'd be cool with me throwing a little party."

This got Howard's attention. "Party? Girls? What? Where?"

Sheldon sighed. "Fill out the appropriate paperwork and we'll discuss this when I return from paintball. Now that we've exchanged pleasantries, can we get going?"

Penny looked at Leonard. "By the way, as long as Sheldon doesn't blow his lid over this whole thing, you guys can come too."

Leonard, Howard and Raj all nodded. "Sounds great." Leonard responded.

Howard raised an eyebrow. "So these friends of yours…"

Penny put her hand up. "Cool it, Howard. My friends are off limits. Well, most of my friends. Oh hell, they never kept me from making any mistakes… Have at it."

Howard looked giddy at the prospect of partying with hot girls.

Sheldon still wasn't sold. "I expect to see an organized guest list and the names of everyone who plans on staying at our apartment for the evening. And then I'll first consider your proposition."

Penny just smirked and lightly patted Sheldon on the cheek. "We'll talk about this later. Have a good time, sweetie."

When she closed the apartment door behind her, Sheldon proceeded to the elevator. As he stepped in, he noticed that his three friends were still staring at the apartment door. "Gentlemen, paintball!"


	10. Chapter 10

Penny drove herself to work Saturday night with a lingering feeling of uneasiness. She knew she couldn't afford another car accident, and she knew she had to make a lot of tips to pay back Sheldon. Moreover, she was disturbed by the blinking check engine light on her dashboard.

_Oh come on, I JUST got this car. I swear if that guy sold me a lemon… I'll go junior rodeo on his ass._

An hour after she started her shift, she was pleasantly surprised to see Sheldon sitting at a table with the guys.

Penny walked over to them. "Hey guys, how was paintball?"

Sheldon glared at Howard. "Apparently, my comrades greatly underestimated today's opponents. What should have been an easy battle ended in misery and defeat. We need more man power and skill level if we wish to play again."

Howard rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. We HAD them. They just had the numbers."

"They were a group of rowdy thirteen year olds celebrating 'Jake's Birthday.' You should all be ashamed of yourselves."

Leonard looked sideways at Sheldon. "Why, you did no better than we did. You spent half the day hiding behind a tree."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "I was outnumbered, and you three were doing nothing to protect your leader." He pointed to himself. "And if that wasn't bad enough, Howard spent the last thirty minutes talking to their female chaperone."

Penny shook it off. "Okay, never mind then. But really, thanks for coming out tonight. Hope you're big tippers."

Leonard smiled at her. "The best."

"So, what can I get for you guys?" She grabbed her notepad out of her apron.

Raj whispered in Howard's ear. Howard sighed. "Raj wants to know what you recommend as a beverage."

Penny glanced at the bar. "Um, the bartender is supposed to be really good. Do you like mint? I heard he makes a mean grasshopper."

Raj just smiled and bowed his head a bit before whispering into Howard's ear again. Howard continued to speak for him. "And apparently Raj is back on the Hindu wagon and wants the meat-lovers pizza, no meat."

Penny wrote down his request. "So pizza… okay."

Howard gave her his best seductive look. "And I'll have a Sex on the Beach..."

She pursed her lips. "I'm sure you would…

When she got to Sheldon, he was still reading the menu. "How am I supposed to know what's good here?"

She shrugged. "Everything's good here."

"Unlikely."

Penny's shoulder's dropped down. "Why don't you get a hamburger, I know you like those."

"I like my Tuesday hamburger from Big Boy."

"Ooh, you should try the barbecue burger then. It's kinda like theirs."

Sheldon closed the menu. "Alright. Although I fully expect it to fail in comparison. Please put the barbecue, bacon and cheese on the side."

Penny took their menus and chuckled to herself as she made her way to the kitchen.

Casey stopped her on the way. "Hey, is that your roommate?"

She nodded. "Yep, the tall one on the right is Sheldon. And those three are his friends from the university he works at."

Casey folded her arms. "Not bad. A little gangly looking, but I'm no one to talk."

"Eh, don't bother. He's kind of asexual. Says he's got no interest in dating anyone ever."

"Gay?"

Penny looked at Sheldon. "I don't think so. I really think he's just that dedicated to his work. Although the little guy across from him with the bowl cut will hit on anything with breasts. Be careful."

Casey laughed. "Thanks."

Penny brought the guys their drinks. Raj picked up his beverage and took a sip right in front of Penny. "Pretty good, right?"

Raj smiled. "Delicious."

Howard and Leonard sharply turned to Raj with surprised faces. Penny pointed to herself. "Did he just talk to me?"

Raj looked up at her. "Yes, who else would I be talking to?" He took another sip of his drink. "So Penny, I've been meaning to ask you something. Do you have any Indian in you?"

She looked back at Raj. "Uh, no, why?"

He revealed a smug grin. "Want some?"

Howard reached over and took the drink out of Raj's hand. "Okay, that's enough for you."

Penny just looked at Leonard, hoping to extract some sort of explanation for Raj's behavior. He had nothing.

She took a deep breath. "Okay, I think we just learned a little something about Raj's not talking to women bit. I'm going to go check on your food."

When she walked away, Leonard glared at Raj. "Nice going."

Raj shrugged. "This grasshopper is delicious. I wonder why I never tried one before…"

Sheldon wasn't fazed. "Yes, while it's amusing that Raj's selective mutism is rendered irrelevant under the influence of alcohol, I'd prefer if you all refrained from alienating my roommate with your failed attempts at initiating a carnal relationship."

Howard rubbed his hands together. "I'm not trying to initiate sex. Although I wouldn't turn it down…"

Leonard looked at Sheldon. "All? Don't look at me, I didn't do anything."

Before Sheldon could respond, Howard stared off into the distance. "I think someone else beat us to it."

They all turned around and looked at Penny, hugging Kurt over by the bar.

Raj squinted a bit. "Who's that guy?"

Sheldon turned back to his beverage. "I suspect that is Penny's latest suitor. A Neanderthal named Kurt that promised Penny he'd stop by and see her prior to their date tonight."

Leonard sunk down a bit. "He's like twice our size…"

As Penny went to the kitchen, Kurt ogled Penny from behind.

Raj shook his head. "Can you believe he's looking at her like a piece of meat? I should go say something to him." As he stood up, Howard reached up and pulled him down by the shoulder.

"Yeah, maybe if you want to get your ass kicked." He replied.

"Women need to be appreciated and respected." Raj explained.

Leonard smirked. "Says the guy who just asked her if she wanted Indian in her."

Sheldon looked down at his glass with scrutiny. "Gentlemen, excuse me for one moment. It appears that Penny did not check for hard water stains on this glass." He stood up and took his drink with him to the bar.

At the bar, Sheldon stood with his glass waiting for the bartender to notice him. To his right sat Kurt and another muscular guy.

Kurt turned to his friend. "Damn she looks good. I'm definitely taking her home tonight."

His friend smirked. "No kidding, you're banging the waitress?"

"I will. We're going out after her shift, so get lost."

Sheldon didn't like what he heard. He wanted to protect Penny, but he didn't know how. Immediately, he scurried back to his table, while managing to bump into Penny on the way.

She jumped back. "Hey, where you are off to in such a hurry?"

He looked down. "Penny, can I talk to you?"

"Um, I'm working, can this wait till later?"

"I suppose. What time will you be available?"

She raised her eyebrows. "We live together, Sheldon. We'll talk when I get home." As she started to walk away, he followed her. "And when are you coming home? Would that be tonight or tomorrow morning?"

Penny looked at Sheldon with confusion. "Tonight. Why would I come home tomorrow?"

He continued to look down. "I wasn't sure when your evening date would commence."

She looked at Sheldon with disgust. "Ugh, stop thinking I'm such a skank. Me and Kurt and are just hanging out tonight. It's no big deal. Plus, I told you, he's a nice guy and I won't bring him to the apartment unless I give you 24 hours notice."

Sheldon nodded a bit. "Alright." He scurried over to his seat, causing Penny to go back to work.

When he sat down, Leonard looked concerned. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yes." He replied. His inability to lie started to take over. "No. Penny's date is planning on engaging in coitus with her this evening, and I believe she is unaware of his intentions."

Howard leaned back. "And you know this how?"

"The neanderthal himself just revealed his intentions to his fellow cohort at the bar. Now, I'm not up to speed with street lingo, but I believe his crude verbiage speaks for itself."

Raj smiled from his alcohol intake. "Sounds like someone is jealous."

"I am far from jealous. I have no desire to partake in the action myself. But I'm not sure what to do in this situation."

Leonard looked over at Penny. "Well, she's your roommate and your friend. You should talk to her."

Sheldon wasn't done contemplating the situation. "Although it's possible she has similar plans, unbeknownst to myself at this time."

A few minutes later, Penny came to the table with their entrees. Sheldon still looked uncomfortable. "Thank you, Penny." He said while looking down at his plate.

She smiled at him. "You're welcome, sweetie."

"I don't think you should go out with Kurt this evening." He blurted.

Penny raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

Sheldon looked at his friends with worry. "Because… I don't think it's a good idea. Perhaps you should get to know one another via instant messaging first."

Penny just laughed it off. "Don't worry about me so much, I'll be fine. If you come up with a better reason than that, let me know." When she walked away, Leonard looked at him with confusion.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

He sighed. He didn't have an answer.

Penny walked over to Casey. "I think it's cute. My roommate doesn't want me going out with Kurt. He's really protective of me lately. It's kind of nice to have someone looking out for me."

"You sure he's not into you?" Casey asked.

"Ha! Sheldon? Yeah right. That reminds me, I'm having some friends over in two weeks for a party. You should come check it out."

She smiled. "Sounds good."


End file.
